Blue Origin Lands Booster: So What?

Blue Origin Sticks the Landing (Finally!) But Is Anyone Actually Impressed?

So, Bezos finally managed to land his giant metal phallus without it exploding. Big deal. I mean, seriously, are we supposed to throw a parade because a rocket didn't become a multi-million dollar fireball this time around?

Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket successfully launched NASA’s ESCAPADE mission – two tiny spacecraft destined to poke around Mars and figure out why it's a barren wasteland now. Apparently, the solar wind is the culprit, stripping away the atmosphere bit by bit. Okay, cool. Good for them. But let's be real, the real story here is the landing. New Glenn Launches NASA’s ESCAPADE, Lands Fully Reusable Booster

The "Reusable" Rocket Ruse

Everyone's creaming their jeans over "reusable" rockets these days, thanks to Musk. But let's not forget why: it's supposed to drive down costs and make space travel more accessible. Is Blue Origin actually doing that? Or are they just playing catch-up while still charging a fortune?

And this ESCAPADE mission... the press release quotes Acting NASA Administrator Sean Duffy saying something about "planting the Stars and Stripes on Mars." Oh, please. That sounds like Trump wrote it. Are we still pushing that jingoistic nonsense? Maybe we should focus on, I don't know, fixing the planet we already have instead of fantasizing about colonizing another one.

I guess, I'm just not buying the hype. They launched two small satellites. They landed a rocket (after failing the first time, let's not forget). And now they want a pat on the back? Give me a break.

Waiting in a Loiter Orbit? Sounds Like My Commute.

The ESCAPADE mission isn't even going straight to Mars. Oh no, that would be too easy. Instead, they're going to hang out a million miles away in something called a "loiter orbit" for almost a year. A loiter orbit? Is that some fancy term for "we screwed up the timing?" Sounds like my commute on the 405.

This "loiter orbit" is supposed to be some revolutionary new approach, allowing future missions to launch whenever they want and just chill in space until the planets align. That's what Robert Lillis, the principal investigator, said. "This is an exciting, flexible way to get to Mars because in the future…we could potentially queue up spacecraft using the approach that ESCAPADE is pioneering."

Queue up spacecraft? Like they're waiting in line at Space DMV? And this whole thing is costing NASA $107.4 million? Couldn't they have just waited for a regular launch window? What’s the real difference in cost?

Offcourse, the other benefit of the "loiter orbit" is that the twin spacecraft will pass through a distant region of Earth's magnetotail. So, they're basically taking a scenic detour on the way to Mars. Fine. Whatever.

So, What's the Point?

The whole point of ESCAPADE is to figure out why Mars lost its atmosphere. Apparently, it had a thick atmosphere and maybe even water billions of years ago. But the solar wind came along and ruined everything. Now, Blue and Gold (those are the satellite's names, seriously?) will be working in tandem to measure how the solar wind interacts with the Martian atmosphere. NASA, Blue Origin Launch Two Spacecraft to Study Mars, Solar Wind

"We really, really want to understand the interaction of the solar wind with Mars better than we do now," Lillis said.

Okay, but so what? What are we going to do with this information? Are we going to build some giant space umbrella to protect Earth from the solar wind? Are we going to terraform Mars by re-inflating its atmosphere? Or is this just another excuse to spend billions of dollars on space exploration while the planet is going to hell?

And let's not forget about Viasat's "telemetry data relay service." Funded by NASA's Communications Services Project, the demonstration transmitted launch telemetry data from the rocket’s second stage to an operations center on Earth through Viasat’s geostationary satellite network. More corporate synergy. More ways for companies to profit off space exploration.

A Waste of Money and Hot Air

It's great that Blue Origin landed their rocket. It really is. But let's not pretend this is some giant leap for mankind. It's just another step in the slow, expensive, and often pointless race to conquer space. And honestly, I’m sick of it.